Do not drink until intoxication. You will have a tendency to say precisely what is on your mind, and switch the diplomatic circuit out. Yes, I know that women assume that you are emotionally continent and can lead.
You need to listen, and let them babble. If you have had enough, go for a walk, or find some jazz and put on the headphones.
But never speak without engaging the censor circuit. Because you will produce either the wall of speech or… worse.
I usually do this, unless I’m drinking. Then, there’s no buffer in my head that keeps what I’m thinking from coming right out.
For instance, my son is trying to come up with the best way to ditch his Karen girlfriend. Of course, he’s consulted his mother (who sort of gotten him into this boat) rather than me (who could’ve prevented it). So we’re chatting about the boy’s issue when she tells me how Karen talks smack, denigrating him in front of others.
“Wow” I say “Dude’s usually married 30 years or so before that shit starts happening….”
Her ire moved from Karen to me. Lovely. It was a chilly, fcked up evening.
A pause and a chin stroke would’ve been a better move.
A commentator, Pushing Rubber Downhill
Just don’t. You won’t stay a leader by being yourself. You stay a leader by discipline, emotional self control, and taking that impulse to be a thoroughgoing plonker somewhere to meet the fate of Admiral Byng.