2 Feb 21

I have been married to Kea for not enough years, and today we celebrate standing in front of a priest at the Wedding Tree where she grew up. So the passage for today is timely for us.

1 Corinthians 7:32-40

32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly towards his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 Yet in my judgement she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

Can confirm.

I pay considerable attention to what Kea thinks and feels and needs. Part of the current project is a moving on, for when she has finished a project she needs another one.

To marry is not a sin. It is a holy state, in which you will have to change because if you don't it will not survive. There are things you bring in -- particularly if you marry late -- that you need to let go. Wifely feedback here is painful but needed.

(And the other way around, but I don''t have a husband, but a wife. so speak from that place).

What is unwise is to be in the position where you are in great dsire but choose not to wed. There certainty. YOu cannot plan. When you are young, and setting our in your career, you may have to move from one place to another. It really helps if (as a bloke) you know that your wife is committed to moving with you and making a home where you go.

When you are raising kids, you need to be in as stable and secure a place as possible, so you can give time and energy to the children. Here grandparents can be sanity saver -- I spent a fair amount of my holidays with my grandmother, in part to give my father a break from my continuous conversations.

But this requires the older rules to apply. The current fashion of cohabitation does not fit with how we are made. So marry, or be single.

Both are worthy.

Don't be divarried (divorced but emotionally still bound) or sitting in a limbo waiting for your lover to put a ring on it. You will find yourself as unwed parents. This is the position our Prime Minister is in, and it is not good. For her kids, for her soul, and for the nation.

But we should, in these evil times, never do what the elite propose.

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elspeth
elspeth
5 months ago

Ah. I see what is happening! When the URL to my blog is filled in, it’s marking me as spam, and refusing to let my comments through. So from now on, I’ll be sure to leave my blog’s address off the comment form.

elspeth
elspeth
5 months ago

For some reason, your new commenting system hates me. But I’m trying again anyway.

Happy Anniversary!

Heresolong
5 months ago

I was married when young (late 20s). I had intended to raise a family and it was pretty easy to make decisions as to where to go. We went where we wanted to go. Neither of us had roots or a career so we talked about where we wanted to be and where we should go to make it happen.

The children didn’t happen and eventually the marriage didn’t happen. Since then I have considered remarriage. I would still like children (I’m mid 50s so with a younger wife that is definitely a possibility) but there are now career and root decision to make. I haven’t even dated because I couldn’t get past how my goals and plans would come across or have to be altered as I tried to explain them to the new wife-to-be. I don’t know if I am willing to give up those goals whereas at age late-20s I didn’t really have them.

It is a conundrum at this point in my life but I think makes sense as to why having a family is so much easier when young (setting aside physical and emotional energy requirements).